Collected Meditations
Showing 77 quotesYoungsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.— Erma Bombeck
There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.— Erma Bombeck
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.— Erma Bombeck
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.— Erma Bombeck
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.— Erma Bombeck
I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up.— Erma Bombeck
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?— Erma Bombeck
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.— Erma Bombeck
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.— Erma Bombeck
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.— Erma Bombeck
topics:
Courage
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.— Erma Bombeck