“I didn't really want to be a comedian.” — Allan Carr

I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved.

I think over there in Montreal they're a bit hardcore with the old homos. They're not that keen on them.

I haven't really got much get up and go. I can't believe I'm on the telly. I'm so lazy.

It's Charley's Aunt and The Odd Couple rolled into one.