"I'd just much rather see an ugly person take the trash out than see somebody really pretty taking th..." — Amy Sedaris

Usually I'm the one asking somebody to do something because I don't know how to finish it. I'm like, 'Do this for me' because I'm just resistant to learning.

I have a couple freeloader friends, but it's okay. I know they're gonna come in with their arms flying in the air empty-handed.

I always knew I didn't want kids, and I didn't want to get married.

I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my senior year, when I couldn't be a Girl Scout anymore. I was in clubs like Junior Achievement, and I ran track and field. My grades were good, but then toward 11th grade they were nothing. I always went to summer school.