"I learned early to drink beer, wine and whiskey. And I think I was about 5 when I first chewed tobac..." — Babe Ruth

How about a little noise. How do you expect a man to putt?

I didn't mean to hit the umpire with the dirt, but I did mean to hit that bastard in the stands.

Cobb is a prick. But he sure can hit. God Almighty, that man can hit.

All ballplayers should quit when it starts to feel as if all the baselines run uphill.