"I have discovered in 20 years of moving around a ballpark, that the knowledge of the game is usually..." — Bill Veeck

What can I do, I asked myself, that is so spectacular that no one will be able to say he had seen it before? The answer was perfectly obvious. I would send a midget up to bat.

After a month or so in St. Louis, we were looking around desperately for a way to draw a few people into the ball park, it being perfectly clear by that time that the ball club wasn't going to do it unaided.

I try not to kid myself. You know, I don't mind romancing someone else, but to fool yourself is pretty devastating and dangerous.

Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game. You want us to pay income taxes, too?