"It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for ever..." — Brendan Behan

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.