“I'd always wanted to write books ever since I was a kid.” — Carl Hiaasen

My books are character-driven. They're not driven by the story.

There's so much hate that we direct externally that we forget we have our own psychos. But that's the role of the satirist - you have to examine your own country and say, 'look!'

People say sometimes, gosh, that was brave of you to write such-and-such last week. 'Brave?' What do they mean 'brave?' It's right! How could you not write it?

I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something.