“I have 11 sisters and 6 brothers.” — Carlos Mencia

We don't grow as human beings from good things happening. We grow from failures.

The beauty of comedy is, when people come to a comedy club, there is a certain veil of reality suspended.

It's not hard to lose weight.

When I'm performing for 4,000, 5,000 people, it's a show. It's a rock n' roll concert.