"If you wanted to hear politics, you'd go to Henry Kissinger; you wouldn't go to hear Jackie Mason. T..." — Jackie Mason

I didn't emphasize my Jewishness because I wanted to. I just happen to have been raised in a family where everybody happened to talk like this, so why would I talk like somebody else?

Every comedian feels out an audience. As you're telling jokes, if they're not laughing at this, you change the subject.

I knew nothing about professional comedians when I became a comedian. I was a rabbi. So I had no professional comedians to learn from.

There is no way I would ever want to be president for a second. It's much easier to make fun of them on the stage and get paid for it. With all the years of me lampooning the presidents in my act, I know I could never ever want that job.