“You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.” — John Barrymore

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.

I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.