"I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And the..." — Karl Pilkington

And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.

To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after.

To be honest, marriage doesn't scare me and that, it's just once you've been together for so long, if you haven't got any kids it's just a big expensive day out for everyone else to enjoy, isn't it?

At the end of the day, teachers aren't going to mess about trying to make me into an Einstein, 'cause it was never gonna happen. We can't all be brainy, can we? That's just the way the world is.