“Pretty much everywhere I go, I'm pretty much thinking I'm going to be bounced. I…” — Kathy Griffin

I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone... it's a joke!

I feel more people can relate to the D-list than the A-list.

I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.