“I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.” — Nancy Cartwright

Since September 11, security has been increased everywhere, and we have new IDs to get on to the Fox lot. I drove to the security gate, but realized I'd left my ID in my other car. I just broke into that voice - 'Hey, man, I'm Bart Simpson. Who else sounds like this?' The guard waved me through.

Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun.

I don't use the voice of Bart when I'm making love to my husband, but Marge's voice turns him on a little.

I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.