“I think of my life as a cheap novel. Part of you wants it to go on forever, and …” — Orson Bean

For most of my life I didn't believe in God. Who had time?

One night in a club in Boston, I tried the name Roger Duck. No laughs. The next night, I tried Orson Bean, putting together a pompous first name and a silly second name. I got laughs, so I decided to keep it.

I felt only a conservative president could bring peace in Vietnam 'cause he wouldn't be accused of being soft on communism.

I think people are afraid to be original.