“Why buy a book when you can join a library.” — Ricky Gervais

The only thing that really depresses me is animal cruelty.

All of my friends are oddities.

I really just want to make Karl Pilkington the new messiah.

I see my real job now as - never mind 'The Office,' 'Extras,' film career, Emmys - I want everyone in the world to know who Karl Pilkington is.