“My Vegas act is how I make my money.” — Rita Rudner

I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.

I started taking ballet lessons when I was 4, and I was performing in ballet companies when I was 10, and I did summer stock in Miami Beach when I was 12, and finally I said, 'I gotta go to Broadway.'

I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal.

If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.