"I wanna be incidental characters in 'Only Fools and Horses,' that would have been good. I wouldn't m..." — Russell Howard

If you're doing 70 gigs in a tour, there's a lot of responsibility. People need a big night out, and you're providing it.

Audiences around the world are all pretty similar. People just rock up and want to have a laugh, although Americans whoop more than English crowds.

I don't want to be one of those comics who says, 'Hey, what's wrong with air travel?' and stuff like that.

I'm one of the people who actually laughs at everyone else's jokes!