"I didn't have a dream college. After graduation, I attended Cal Poly in San Luis Obispo, majoring in..." — Taylor Tomlinson

So much of religion is like, 'Well if you were praying about it, if you were good with God, that would fix everything.'

If I can write a joke about something that happened that was awful, it's like OK that happened and I have this money.

I know dead mom jokes make people uncomfortable.

My mom passed away when she was 34 years old... And I think in addition to I have to be really good if I'm going to disappoint my parents, I also have that in the back of my head, which is... okay. I may only have until 34 because in addition, my mom's aunt also died, same cancer, 34. So there's a pattern.