“I wasn't handsome. I didn't have good clothes. I used to wonder why people would…” — Walter Matthau

I still think I'm 28. I'm 73. I think I'm 28, though, except that I won't get into a fight with anybody because I just had a pacemaker put in.

I retired once a couple of times.

People say, 'When are you going to do serious stuff?' I look at them as though they were crazy. My serious stuff is my comedy. That's how I make my points.

I can relate to anything. I once played Macbeth. I got a lot of laughs, so I quit.