Laurence J. Peter

Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.

America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.

The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.

Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.

Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.

As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't.

In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.

Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.

Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.

If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else.