Mark Twain

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.

When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.

The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

There are lies, damned lies and statistics.

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

We have the best government that money can buy.