Robin Williams

Performing comedy in San Francisco to begin with is pretty wild. You've got to - you've got the human game preserve to play off of. And it's a lot of great characters everywhere. You work off that, and then you play the rooms, and eventually you get to a point where you're playing a club that is a comedy club, with other comics.

I don't have a college degree, and my father didn't have a college degree, so when my son, Zachary, graduated from college, I said, 'My boy's got learnin'!'

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

I bought one of the first Nintendo systems and brought that home, and we were playing 'Legend of Zelda' at the time, and it was addicting, and I was playing it for hours and hours and hours.

With film roles, it just has to be a character either I haven't done before, or a role with somebody really interesting or with an interesting person or group of people.

I do believe in love; it's wonderful - especially love third time around, it's even more precious; it's kind of amazing.

Tweets? That stuff kills conversation. And people taking pictures with their phone or recording you, sometimes surreptitiously, is creepy. They come up and just start talking to you, and you can see the red light on their phone.

I enjoy performing for heavily armed people. It's easier than going to Georgia.

One of my favourite actors of all time, although he doesn't necessarily play villains, is Peter Lorre.

In America they really do mythologise people when they die.

There's a show in America where all these people compete with ferrets, and they don't even do anything. They basically just hold them up, and if they don't bite you, they might win.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

In the process of looking for comedy, you have to be deeply honest. And in doing that, you'll find out here's the other side. You'll be looking under the rock occasionally for the laughter.

Reality: What a concept!

It's hard when you read an article saying bad things about you. It is as if someone is sticking a knife on your heart. But I am the harshest critic of my work.

I've had a lot of people tell me they watched 'Old Dogs' with their kids and had a good time.

You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

I knew Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were really talented. As actors, they were both studly young men, and they had great writers' chops.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

I write on big yellow legal pads - ideas in outline form when I'm doing stand-up and stuff. It's vivid that way. I can't type it into an iPad - I think that would put a filter into the process.