"I've known Don since he came to Washington. When he first came to work for George W. Bush, he was a ..." — Art Buchwald

There was tremendous pressure to take dialysis, and there were lots of tears when I broke the news to the family that I was not going to do it.

Men and women cannot live by bread alone. They must also tinkle. Show me someone who has no trouble tinkling, and I will show you a happy and rich person.

I was put on earth to make people laugh.

Becoming eighty is a matter of life or death. I chose life. It is a much better position to be in, and it's easier on your back.