“If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.” — Dean Martin

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello', 'goodbye', and 'I'm pregnant'.

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.