"I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to sc..." — Demetri Martin

As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.

I know about Woodstock probably as much as your average person who is over 30, where I'd know Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Grateful Dead.

I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.

But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.