“I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to.” — Jackie Mason

I didn't emphasize my Jewishness because I wanted to. I just happen to have been raised in a family where everybody happened to talk like this, so why would I talk like somebody else?

Every comedian feels out an audience. As you're telling jokes, if they're not laughing at this, you change the subject.

If you wanted to hear politics, you'd go to Henry Kissinger; you wouldn't go to hear Jackie Mason. The reason I speak about politics is because I know I can get a laugh out of it.

I knew nothing about professional comedians when I became a comedian. I was a rabbi. So I had no professional comedians to learn from.