"I'm trying to manufacture slapstick in my own flat by leaving things out to trip up over, on the off..." — Jamie Demetriou

I could develop a brand called B, for men with big bums - I'd go on 'Dragons' Den' and give them my side profile.

I'd like to design clothes, even just for myself, because my shape doesn't always lend itself to the things I like.

When I was starting out I did vox pops for a late-night TV show. I went to interview this guy, and before I'd even said anything he went: 'Poor man's Sacha Baron Cohen.' I immediately broke character.

I think with the best characters, you want to see them go on a journey, Partridge being the best example of that.