"I'd be arrested if I still smoked because I'm the one who would be changing the battery in the airpl..." — John Waters

My mother's brother became the undersecretary of the interior for Nixon, which did cause a little drama in my family because I was going to riots and everything, but he turned out great and gave us a nice cheque for an AIDS benefit we had for the 'Serial Mom' premiere.

Isn't that the most perverse thing you've ever heard?

I've been an art collector since the Sixties, and I kept it very separate from my showbusiness career. I've had art shows since the early Nineties, a museum show that travelled to four countries. I've had three or four art books; it's just another way I have to tell stories.

My father was horrified by my movies, yet he lent me the money to make the early ones. And I paid him back with interest.