“There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.” — P. J. O'Rourke

America is not doctrinaire. It's hard for an American politician to come up with an ideological position that is permanently unforgivable.

I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I'm not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.

Tom DeLay may or may not have broken campaign finance laws, but he did his best to look like he was breaking them.

A penny will not buy a penny postcard or a penny whistle or a single piece of penny candy. It will not even, if you're managing the U.S. Mint, buy a penny.