“In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently…” — Stephen Colbert

All I can do is today and tomorrow and have some idea of what we're doing next week. That's all I can worry about.

My mom kind of led me toward acting. She wanted to be an actress when she was younger. That made me interested in it when I was a kid, because she and I are very close.

Status is always ripe for satire, status is always good for comedy.

I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.