"My favorite book is anything by Kurt Vonnegut - he's my literary hero. I got to meet him several tim..." — Steven Wright

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.

People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.