"We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've he..." — Yakov Smirnoff

Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.

I have American in-laws, and I care about the environment. We don't use disposable diapers, which, of course, creates an environmental problem of our own.

Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year. That's why you need a strong line of communication... which includes laughter.