Andy Rooney

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.