Andy Rooney

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points.

As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.