Chuck Palahniuk

My favorite books to give or get are short story collections. And always paperbacks because they are easy to carry as you travel.

I am the cause of all my upsets. I am my worst enemy.

I used to work as a volunteer in a hospice, but I don't have any nursing skills or cooking skills or anything, so I was what they call an escort. I would take people to the support groups every night, and I would have to sit sort of on the sidelines so I could take them back to hospice at the end of the meeting.

If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character, would you slow down? Or speed up?

If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?

You can tell a more over-the-top incredible story if you use a nonfiction form.

My writing process isn't a very organized thing.

If we all lived according to the teachings of Jesus Christ, life would be much simpler.

Movie brawls tend to be bloodless and quick.

We don't see a lot of models for male social interaction. There's sports and barn raisings.

One thing I really envy about my friends who have kids is that as their children develop, they're able to revisit their own developmental stages and recognise themselves and undo a lot of things they decided.

The best fights don't occur between strangers. They occur between friends who trust each other.

I get a lot of letters from women who insist that 'Fight Club' is not just a guy thing. They insist that women have the same rage and need the same outlet.

In books, you can just wallow in dialogue, and you can just wallow in written words. In screenplays, every line has to serve the purpose of the line that's implied before it and the line that's implied after it. Maybe five lines have to do the work of fifty lines.

I live by fallacy. 'If I get enough nice Ikea furniture, I'll be a grown-up.' Then I catch myself. Or, 'If I get off by myself, away from the stress of modern life, I'll be OK.' Then I catch myself.

What we don't understand we can make mean anything.

I dread the promotion part of my job. It's agony, especially compared to the private, at-home joy of writing. But being a grown-up means doing every part of the larger task.

Every woman is just a different kind of problem.

We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens.

A good story should make you laugh, and a moment later break your heart.