Dane Cook

As a comedian, I am obligated to tell you the truth, my truth. To share with you my beliefs, my perspective. And I think that we forget sometimes that that's the oath that comics take, that we will go up and share everything - the irreverent, the scary.

My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.

I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.

I'm interested in doing everything and anything that I can to squeeze that creativity out of my brain. I guess I'm sort of a performance rat.

I feel like the gods have certainly patted me on the head.

I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.

I did stand-up comedy for seventeen years. I need to explore other things.

I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.

Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.

You've gotta share what's going on in your mind.

The little boy inside of all us men always loves something video game related.

I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.

We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.

I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.

When something's good, I'm not an over-celebrator.

I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.

I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.

I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'

In the year 3000, everything will be instant.

There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.