Deborah Tannen

In this world, conversations are negotiations for closeness in which people try to seek and give confirmation and support, and to reach consensus. They try to protect themselves from others' attempts to push them away.

The biggest mistake is believing there is one right way to listen, to talk, to have a conversation - or a relationship.

We tend to look through language and not realize how much power language has.

I can't tell you how many times I heard from younger sisters that their older sisters were bossy and judgmental.

Many mothers or daughters assume that words only mean one thing. 'If I feel criticised, that has to be the whole story', and 'if I feel I am being helpful, that has to be the whole story'.

Sister relationships span a huge range, from best friends to worst enemies. From 'I adore her; I talk to her five times a day' to 'I decided to cut her out of my life.' For most women, it's in between.