1890 – 1977 • American • Comedian
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
Room service? Send up a larger room.
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
