Helen Rowland

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.

Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son - and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.