Iliza Shlesinger

I didn't get an agent until after 'Last Comic Standing' - of course, getting on a show like that will get you attention.

It's never occurred to me - and I don't know what right mixture of upbringing this was - that my opinion wasn't as important as the alpha males or that I shouldn't try or that I wasn't the funniest one in the room.

Sounds are something that I always emulate - I'll walk around, and if a coffee pot goes off or a phone rings, I'll often mimic the sound. To me, everything's got a voice.

I believe in always having a lot of irons in the fire.

What I have found that my comedy is doing - and what really drives me - is to sort of bring women together through pointing out why we act so crazy.

Unfortunately, we don't live in a society where you can say whatever you want, and there will be no repercussions. Pick and choose your battles. I think that's the key.

I want girls to know that whatever you're feeling, I'm feeling too. All the things that you think make you crazy, it's OK to feel that way, and I'm gonna tell you why we feel that way.

When you can analyze situations and figure out what's best for you, based on you and not some preconceived notion of what society expects, then nothing is a threat.

I love getting insight into what makes actors tick.

My passion in life isn't politics. It truly is connecting to people and women.

I get my strength from wanting to teach other women that everything about you is OK, and you shouldn't take any crap from anyone.

I don't want to hear any more women talk about how they want to be... mermaids.

There was a sketch group at Emerson, and if you could believe it, we were the cool kids. That's how Emerson rolls. I was a film major, but I spent most of my time doing that.

I really respect Samantha Bee.

I was a big fan of sketch comedy and cartoons growing up.

The women who are pool waitresses are another worldly species. They're half-desert lizards. They never have sunburns.

I've been entertaining men with my comedy for many, many years, and I don't plan on stopping.

I'm pale, and people need to accept that I'm almost see-through.

I've never been a dirty comic.

When I started my career, I started with black comics: Bruce Bruce, Mark Curry, Bill Bellamy. It takes all kinds of influences.