Jimmy Fallon

When I was a kid, you would tune in to 'The Tonight Show' before you went to sleep. Johnny Carson. A big treat. I know it's a privilege of mine to be able to be in people's homes. So I hope I make everyone proud, including my parents, and do a good job in this.

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie.

Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: 'We think we're important enough to charge money for our garbage.'

On 'Late Night,' it's like we're all in on the joke. That's what I wanted it to be. I'm not doing something sneaky. Inside jokes, I don't like those. We can all ride together, and everyone's on the same thing going, 'Aha, I know where you're going here.'

I like video games, I like tech, I like being positive.

I like being absurd. Being silly.

I like doing energetic things.

I don't even read the papers. I read 'USA Today' because it has color photos.

I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, 'That's funny,' then fall asleep.

I wanted to be a Priest at one point. I was pretty religious. I was an altar boy, and I was good at it. Then, I started meeting girls and I'm like 'You know, maybe I shouldn't be a Priest.'

When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be.

Sometimes in a movie, the lines are so perfect.

I, of course, wanted to do something with Drew Barrymore. Please. So we were reading scripts back and forth and then we found this script, Fever Pitch.

I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.

I had a gun and I had to run and shoot, which is not easy.

I didn't act like I was there. I just got into the story.

Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.

There's always going to be someone out there... who doesn't believe in you or who thinks your head is too big or you're not smart enough. But those are the people you need to ignore, and those are the times you need to just keep doing what you love doing.

If people want to see you, they'll find you. If they don't see you on TV, they'll find you on the Internet.

Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.