Kinky Friedman

I don't apologize to people with an agenda.

I don't apologize to people who try to intimidate.

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.'

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?

Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.

We've had to be creative to get on the ballot.

Young people are the key to this election.

I see an issue I like, and I support it.

No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.

William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.

These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable.

The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independents, by the way.

I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.

I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.

I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!

I'll sign anything except bad legislation.

Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.