Melody Beattie

I used to be afraid of pain, didn't take a lot of risks, especially in love. I'm not as afraid anymore. I'm more spontaneous, more likely to say what I think.

We can trust ourselves to know when our boundaries are being violated.

Much of the time, the things we feel guilty about are not our issues. Another person behaves inappropriately or in some way violates our boundaries. We challenge the behavior, and the person gets angry and defensive. Then we feel guilty.

Relationships are where we take our recovery on the road.

In martial arts, every time you graduate, move to another level, you don't forget everything you've done. You build on it, but it's always there.

What do you do when life blindfolds you and spins you around? We think it's our fault, that we're to blame, when really we should be focused on being gentle with ourselves.

Few things can frustrate us more than trying to make a person someone he or she isn't; we feel crazy when we try to pretend that person is someone he or she is not.

Some therapists have proclaimed: 'Co-dependency is anything, and everyone is co-dependent.'

There are almost as many definitions of co-dependency as there are experiences that represent it.

Twelve-step promotes spirituality, not religion. It gives a practical, day-to-day spirituality that tells me what I can and cannot control. There is room to be imperfect and to be someone who struggles to find God.

We are on a very rich emotional and physical journey on this planet.

I gave three years of my life to take care of my dying mother who had Alzheimer's disease. Being there for her every need for three years might have looked codependent but it wasn't because it was what I wanted to do.

It's hard to give up the self-esteem connected to being codependent and appearing 'right,' which is probably a survival behavior learned from growing up in a crazy family. It feels like you will actually disappear.

Each moment in time we have it all, even when we think we don't.

Feel what you feel, know what you know, and set your relatives free to do the same.

Guilt can stop us from taking healthy care of ourselves.

A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.

According to some Eastern religion, there is a belt that goes across the world, and I've heard that Minnesota is right in the heart of this spiritual-creative belt of energy.

Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give.

Don't violate your own code of values and ethics, but don't waste energy trying to make other people violate theirs.