1880 – 1946 • American • Comedian
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.
