“Two things I really wanted to be: a stand-up comic or a New York Yankee - or a r…” — Billy Crystal

It took five years to get 'Parental Guidance' made, and it was a fight every second.

Humans love sex, we need sex, it's how we connect, it reminds us we're alive, it's the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.

You really have to have some muscle to be on the stage in front of the world.

My Aunt Sheila was terrifying! She would put a napkin in her mouth and say, 'You've got something on your face, dear. Let me just scratch that off your face. Let me sand your cheek.'