Billy Crystal

It took five years to get 'Parental Guidance' made, and it was a fight every second.

Humans love sex, we need sex, it's how we connect, it reminds us we're alive, it's the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.

You really have to have some muscle to be on the stage in front of the world.

My Aunt Sheila was terrifying! She would put a napkin in her mouth and say, 'You've got something on your face, dear. Let me just scratch that off your face. Let me sand your cheek.'

When I'm not thrilled, I get funny.

Two things I really wanted to be: a stand-up comic or a New York Yankee - or a really funny New York Yankee.

I'm almost shocked that I'm still around after all of these years... and always grateful that I get another turn to do something.

All that time, you go, 'God, am I slipping away here?' And then something great happens, you get a call, and work begets more work.

I didn't rebel as a child. I missed that angry teenager thing.

You don't want to wait for that aged jockey role.

Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising.

I've worn down America.

As far as the media goes, I'm driving in the left lane at 28 miles an hour.

When I first started, there were, like... two or three critics that you thought, 'Alright, I hope I get a good review from them.' And now there's millions of them.

Your first friends are your truest friends, I find. And the ones that stick are really special.

I can't bear to think of life without Janice. I want to go first because I don't want to miss her, because that would be a pain far worse than any death.

I don't go to any of the big Academy parties while the show is on because, invariably, it turns to people watching me watch the host, and it's not comfortable. I watch at home and hope the show gets to be really good.

It is great seeing the fruits of your labor. The joy I have in watching my daughters with their kids is great, because they're doing a wonderful job, and the kids are fantastic.

From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do.

Mr. Hitchcock knew what he was doing.