"I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems." — Dave Barry

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.