"Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Do..." — David Letterman

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.

I have found that the only thing that does bring you happiness is doing something good for somebody who is incapable of doing it for themselves.

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.