“If anyone's going to bring about mass extinction, it'll be Donald Trump.” — Nikki Glaser

I always told my parents, 'Just give me till I'm 27 to do comedy, to make it'.

I don't feel the same pressure to be perfect up there that I did in the beginning.

I started out splitting my time between the Kansas City and St. Louis comedy scenes, which both had bluer sensibilities than other cities that I've worked.

I'm not a bleeding-heart feminist, but I do like to call out that stuff in my act. It's nice when you find a perspective that no one has hit on.