“You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and yo…” — Phyllis Diller

My father used to call me the laughing hyena.

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.